The fam and I got back from vacation today and we had a great time. We were excited to hit Sea World with the kids for the first time because both of them love anything with animals. It didn’t disappoint, but I walked away with a great illustration (at least for me) related to leadership relationships.
We went to the Shamu or Killer Whale show or whatever it is called now and while some of the things were going according to plan, apparently a couple of the killer whales just weren’t feelin’ it that day and weren’t cooperating and it caused multiple delays with the show and it just didn’t have a good flow and clean feel to it.
One of the trainers shared about some of the realities involved – something about the seasons and how males and females relate to one another and something about hormones were mentioned. But then he shared about how when it comes to Sea World and these performances, they believe in a 50-50 partnership between the trainers and the whales. One of the implications is that when a killer whale isn’t up for the performance, then the trainers just need to role with it. They have to respect the whale’s decision and choice in the matter.
Now, on one hand one could say they have no choice but to respect the whale’s “individuality” given that they can weigh several thousand pounds. However, the sense of it was that these performances are about a relationship in which trust is cultivated and in which power is not used to force another’s will. The only way these performances can be real crowd pleasers is through the healthy trust, partnership and relationships between the whales and trainers.
I found it significant that the trainers emphasized the whale’s freedom to say no. In other words – whale boundaries. I get dibbs on royalties if cloud and townsend churn out a “Boundaries for Whales” book by the way.
Giving people the freedom to say no is just as important in relationships and in leadership contexts as it is for killer whale trainers. Now, I’m not saying leadership doesn’t or shouldn’t hold people accountable, but when it comes to relationships and empowering and developing adults and leaders maybe we can learn something from Shamu and friends. Sometimes we need to live with a “crappy show” out of respect for people’s separateness and individuality rather than try to force the issue in the short-term and ruin the long-term fruit that comes from a healthy and connected, while emotionally separate relationship.
There’s several tracks I could keep chasing here, but I think that captures the gist of what I observed. It’s amazing how such a delicate relationship of trust can be forged even with a several ton mammal that has “killer” in its name.
