Here’s a challenging thought from Robert Greenleaf in Servant Leadership…
“In this regard I see no middle ground between arrogance and humility. One may not safely give unless one is open and ready to receive the gifts of others, whatever they may be. Scripture holds that it is more blessed to give than to receive. But if one has the great power of affluence in modern terms, a condition which the writers of Scripture may not have foreseen, this may be a questionable generalization, because receiving requires a genuine humility that may be uncomfortable and difficult to achieve, whereas giving poses the risk of arrogance which, unfortunately, is easy to come by–and some seem to enjoy it (311-312).
I love this quote. Here and there someone raises this issue in a variety of contexts, but it doesn’t usually last long in the minds of the majority or powerful. There can be a myopic and even dangerous element to giving from a position of power to a position of weakness.
It begs the question – are we giving for ourselves? To feel better about ourselves? To alleviate a guilty conscience?
We typically assume that giving is moral and ethical, but we need to think more deeply. What Greenleaf highlights is that giving is not always others-centered. Giving can be an exercise of power. Leaders and people – whether acting on a team, for an organization, for a country, or even in a family can give as an expression of dominance and superiority rather than as a humble effort that raises up the less powerful.
One of the more popular presentations that highlighted some of the problems with affluent giving was the presentation by Jessica Jackley of Kiva.org at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. It’s cool to see some of the avenues that have been developed over the past decade to facilitate giving that empowers and lifts up the less affluent and powerless rather than just temporarily scratches an itch. For the record though, some itches need scratching even if they’re just temporary, especially when lives are in the balance.
Giving can be tricky. When one person is doing all the giving, it creates a power imbalance. That’s why Greenleaf argues that those in a position to be “givers” need to find ways to receive from the less affluent or less powerful. This is a powerful concept – the powerful in this world by material standards humbling themselves to affirm the dignity and humanity and contribution of the less powerful.
On a leadership level, leaders are tempted to give with strings attached or with an expectation of quid pro quo. Or they are tempted to give out of arrogance or narcissism. Or they are tempted to give out of image management. And giving can be a tool to keep other people dependent on you or in the child position.
I do continue to believe that to give is better than to receive, but there’s a wisdom to the notion that an ethical and moral giver needs to be a receiver too. Obviously the powerful and powerless may be giving and receiving different things, but unless there is a mutual dynamic of transformation through the process there is an imbalance of power that will do its work one way or another. To give “safely” we need to examine the “hows” of our giving (money or otherwise). Like Greenleaf argues, our giving should reflect humility and open the door to be taught or receive in return rather than preserve our posture of power and dominance.
How do you safely give? How do you avoid the entanglements and temptations that can corrupt your acts of giving into manipulative or ego-enhancing behavior? How do you give in ways that respect the freedom and dignity of the one on the other end rather than control?
