I’ll continue getting back into the swing of things on the blogfront with another book review.
I had to recently read Breaking Through to Teens: Psychotherapy for the New Adolescence by Ron Taffel. It’s directed to help professionals and counselors who are struggling to help and offer productive help for this millennial generation of teenagers.
One refreshing thing about this book is that he just gives a total beat down to the philosophy of parenting that is self-esteem driven – where parents are afraid to do any discipline or set limits because of the fear that the kids will turn on you later. Taffel absolutely dismantles this approach to parenting that has been so en vogue the last decade especially. Taffel documents through case studies and examples the fruit of a lack of limits and discipline in parenting. There’s a strong vision for the future and it doesn’t look good for parents who cannot set limits with their kids and who abdicate leadership for busyness and activity.
The hardest thing about the book is the graphic case studies related to the modern landscape of where teens are acting out. Some of it isn’t new, but the amount of case studies from 11-13-year-old kids is sobering. It reminds me how brief the window is to establish healthy bonds AND limits with your kids. So this book is like “Scared Straight” for parenting today, but it highlights how significant and strategic parenting is for the first decade or so of a child’s life. There’s a window here for parents and with 3 young kids – I don’t want to miss that window. It brings a sense of urgency for intentional parenting.
So that holds great value for any parent to get educated about. But I’ll repeat how refreshing it is to read even a secular account of how damaging the “self-esteem”/no discipline approach to parenting is. It creates what parents most fear ironically so in general it functions almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
