“We succeed out of our shame.”
-Mike Tyson
I’ve listened to a couple interviews with former heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson in the last month and I’ve been really fascinated by learning more about his story, his roots, and some of what has been his story of redemption (from a life well-being standpoint at least since it is clear he is still is searching). But I’ve been surprised by how vulnerable and how much depth Tyson has brought to some of these interviews about life and meaning and relationships.
One of the compelling anecdotes from one of the interviews was regarding when he first was chosen or seen as someone with potential. As I write that it amazes me how being seen is a dignity building experience that brings a personal sense of feeling chosen – of being special. Mike Tyson, like many others, was on a dangerous path in a dangerous world that might have led to early death had it not for being seen – being chosen.
Who saw him? An old boxing lifer who from my understanding had been blackballed from the boxing scene. Furthermore, it was an old white guy – “Cus.” Tyson described the power of having this man speak value into his life, yet also the difficult journey of receiving it when one’s sense of value or worth is so low. He even said that he had never had any white man speak such value or say such nice things to him about him that he wondered if Cus was perverted or if there was something sketchy about it. Such is the reality when you are conditioned to believe people only want to use you or abuse you – and abuse was part of his background. But Tyson’s recollection went something like this, “This guy chose me. He saw potential. I was getting whipped and bloodied and he said, ‘This is the guy.'” That’s a transformational moment.
Tyson’s story is a roller-coaster, a wild ride. It’s about Mike facing his demons. It’s about failure. It’s about addiction. It’s about losing control. It’s about second chances. It’s about re-inventing himself. But it’s also the story about an outcast white guy empowering a young, poor black young man to rise above his circumstances. In the craziness of Mike Tyson’s post champion struggles, his origin story of how he began his journey as a boxer really is a moving one. You can check out these interviews at grantland.com
Tyson has recently re-invented himself as a media darling, a pop-culture icon, and even broadway star with his One Man Show. It’s an impressive second act for someone most thought might not make it that far. There’s a thoughtfulness and creative side that I would not have imagined being a part of the DNA of this guy who felt more animal and fearsome creature that was the most feared person on the planet when I was growing up. There’s no doubt his time in jail, his work in recovery from addiction, and own self-reflection has produced a maturity far beyond what people might believe.
As I see it, from his own words he seems to have become more himself. He shares in detail how at times he was lost in who he was, how at times he was who he thought he had to be, or that he was being someone in order to not be who he deep down believed he was. He’s comfortable in his own skin through his journey and his presence is significantly different.
Mike Tyson may not interest you. I’m not a boxing fan and you might not be either. But he serves as a great example of how we all sometimes can be driven to succeed or perform by deep and hidden areas of shame. Such ambition or drive is a ticking time bomb. Like it did with Tyson, it will catch up with us unless we face it.
Do you have any thoughts on Tyson? What are your impressions of his recent success in media and pop-culture?
