MERGING.
The integration of two entities.
I’ve been doing a lot of MERGING lately.
I currently reside in Manila and if you know anything about it, you’ve probably heard the same two things we heard over and over before we came here. It’s really hot and the traffic is really bad.
Truth.
Manila is a unique city as far as its traffic goes. There’s the similar chaos and congestion that I’ve seen in large cities, but there’s also the reality of narrow roads and a unique “u-turn” system that is designed to cut down on lights and increase flow of traffic. These two factors lead to a constant stream of MERGING.
To get to where you want to go, you have to MERGE.
While going the direction you want to go you have to be prepared for the many that will MERGE into your path.
Initially, it looks and feels like a free for all. To some degree it is – yet after getting use to it you find a rhythm to it. It occurred to me recently as I was making my way around the city that my experience as a driver in Manila has paralleled my overall transition and adjustment to life in Manila – life in a different country and culture.
MERGING.
Each culture and context has its own flow of traffic if you will – and by choice or by necessity it requires boldness and intentionality to merge into that flow.
MERGING requires a certain level of assertiveness, without which, traffic is amplified and accidents can occur. We were stuck this morning behind a student driver car whose young driver was so tentative and unsure that they caused all sorts of chaos and drama in its wake. On the other hand, there is no shortage of vehicles (usually taxis), that are so assertive that they cause similar chaos due to their recklessness.
This is where my life mirrors my driving sometimes. Sometimes I’m so anxious or fearful I never get in the flow of traffic. Other times I’m so bold and assertive without a good understanding of the unspoken “rules of the road” that I offend or generate tension. MERGING for me has been about living in the tension between assertiveness and recklessness as well as between cautiousness and paralysis.
Life in Manila feels like driving in Manila – there’s times I’m completely overwhelmed, there’s times I’m trapped with no where to go, and there’s times where it almost feels normal (though never for very long).
Here’s 3 things I’ve noticed that help me MERGE graciously:
1. Confidence: Fear can keep us out of the flow of traffic. Confidence and courage is what gets us on the road where we can learn through experience.
2. Patience: The MERGING of so many generates congestion and gridlock. You can plan well, but sometimes no amount of planning can spare you. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait it out and find peace in the mess of it all.
3. Flexibility: The constant and unpredictable MERGING here requires flexibility. Sometimes we must be aggressive, sometimes cautious. Sometimes we need to veer left to avoid small kids urinating in the street and some times we need veer right to avoid u-turning jeepneys. Most of all, we must be flexible with our time because we can’t control our schedules with the same precision.
MERGING can be dangerous. You can trade paint with other cars. Accidents may happen. Misunderstandings may happen. But unless we MERGE we can’t get to our destination.
All of us have our own strategies and ways of MERGING when we find ourselves in contexts where multiple forces are coming together into one stream.
How do you find yourself having to MERGE and what helps you handle it?
