In another reflection on life back from extended time in the developing world, any reflection on re-entry or reverse culture shock typically always includes some thoughts on the abundance…and perhaps excess…of grocery stores and maybe any place of commercial business.
I took the above picture spontaneously of my son. I turned the corner on our first trip to either Target or Walmart and saw him paralyzed for a couple minutes by…Oreos. My son loves Oreos. He perhaps can’t live without them. He can get Oreos in Manila, but he insists that U.S. Oreos are better (a lot better). Now contrary to this, he insists that Philippines Doritos are also quite superior to U.S. Doritos. Maybe some taste tests are in order…but he was extremely excited to get some U.S. Oreos in our first week back.
Colin’s response captures what we all feel coming back – just overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices and options. On the face of it – it’s great, like the euphoria of Disneyland where you can have almost anything you want. But there’s context that shapes the meaning and experience of these moments when you’ve been shaped heavily by a different place and situation.
My wife has mentioned a few times on this trip back that as we reflect back, we missed a lot of the “stuff” we used to have access to in the U.S. the first few years and now we pretty much just miss family and friends. You realize in a different context that we really don’t “need” so much of what we used to want or crave. You adapt to the limitations of the environment and its strengths and weaknesses. You grow content with a different lifestyle and then to come back is a shock to the system!
Beyond the shock of choices, the challenge also includes dealing with the tension that comes with straddling two worlds – one characterized by significant excess in many ways and one in which poverty is a more pervasive reality. We experience this in Manila in some places too as the gap between most people and the elite is quite large, but it can be overwhelming just to see how much is available to most people. I remember my mom having a difficult time coming back from Eastern Europe in the 80’s because the abundance and excess at times is such a stark contrast to how much of the world is living.
There are different forms of poverty, but part of living with global perspective is holding in tension the different realities. During my Baltimore trip in april for my coursework, my wife asked me to bring back Goldfish so I went with a friend to Target to get goldfish and I asked him, “Do you think they have goldfish here- the kids snack?” because in Manila you never know what will be there and what might not be there on a given trip. We turned the corner and my friend started laughing while I started to actually feel an anxiety in my heart seeing this….
I’m sure anxiety at seeing goldfish is quite common for most people 🙂 But those moments of being overwhelmed by choice and abundance can generate anxiety about belonging and identity. As odd as it sounds, some of these moments create doubt and questions like, “Do I belong or fit in this world anymore?” become more common. A less poetic way of seeing it is – you just feel weird and out of step. It’s hard to capture totally – but the tension between worlds strains our understanding of identity.
We have enjoyed the increased choices and options since being back – it’s just weird. But living between worlds in some of these ways is tough and confusing These are moments where it has helped us to remember that our “citizenship” is of a higher order and not just relegated to one place or another.
One thought I should mention is that while we enjoy the new choices and commercial freedoms, it’s hard not to recognize the clear expression of Western individuality and a more extreme version of it as influenced by the customization/social media generation. Things here are targeted to the individual in a way where it is a bit jarring having been so immersed in a more collectivist society. I love choices and freedoms, but I find myself reacting against how much customization is expected or demanded these days as I’ve been back. I’ve seen people at restaurants treat people or servers quite badly because something quite small was off.
It’s not bad to have options – I like it, but it’s interesting how options over time can create expectations and demands and entitlements.
So in short, there are two sides to abundance. One, it’s great to have choice and freedom, but it’s also great to learn to be content in all things. It’s hard to hold those two in tension, but I guess that’s one of the points I’m trying to make. The moments of paralysis from an excess of options and decisions have been balanced out by moments of freedom and contentment from those very options because we’ve learned to live without them. I like that about our lifestyle. Even if we do spend a lot of time feeling different and out of place! 🙂
