I was asked by a couple of people to share my tribute to my mom that I shared at her memorial, which was held on August 19th, 2023 at Arbor Road Church. That day was a powerful and meaningful day of remembrance and celebration, but she is deeply missed.
Many of you know that a couple of years ago due to a convergence of events and factors, our family relocated from the Philippines back to Long Beach just a few minutes away from my parents. In that crisis, my mom played a significant role, consistently reinforcing to me that the steps we were taking with the smallest bit of faith that we had at the time, were mighty and powerful. She was convinced that those decisions would bear lasting and significant fruit for my family and so many more. And she delighted in every risk taken, every small victory, and every redemptive moment on the journey. She did that for me, for us, and for so many.
She was convinced that God would redeem so much of the pain and loss and provide so many good gifts along the way. None of us would have dreamed that one of the greatest gifts would be for our family to have been near her, and more importantly with her, during her last couple of years of life after we had lived out of the country for so long. What I thought was our premature return was a grace disguised captured in hundreds of memories and experiences that we are so, so thankful for.
The night she was taken to the hospital I had a brief moment alone with her after the medical realities were explained to me. That moment that there are really no words for became holy as a passage of Scripture quickly came into my mind as I looked upon my mom. It was Matthew 5:4,
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
My mom hungered and thirsted for righteousness. That word righteousness can have a lot of connotations but it includes dimensions of justice, truth, and even more – wholeness. She hungered for things to be made right and for people to experience the fullness of what they were meant for. And this is what it looked like for her in her life and ministry. She hungered for people to be whole and she thirsted for people to live in the freedom that comes as the reward for truth and honesty. And she marveled at how God uses peoples’ stories and gifts to lead each other into that truth and greater wholeness. She saw those contributions as some of God’s highest callings in a person’s life and it why she was so passionate about healthy teams and healthy conflict.
It has been impossible not to recognize the ways so much of her is a part of who I and my sisters are. Each one of us lives those values and passions out in very different ways, but there are common threads of legacy that reflect my mom. She was passionate about ethical leadership, healthy teams, and peacemaking. I must have bought in somewhere along the way as my own ministry and vocational path led me to graduate-level teaching and leadership development in all of those areas. I see that legacy of passion in my own life, but it’s even more beautiful to see some of those same threads in each of my own children and the rest of her grandchildren. I love that I can see different parts of my mom in each of my kids.
My mom celebrated well and did so intentionally and thoughtfully. She will be deeply missed for how hard she worked to make each person in her life feel special and seen. She sought to affirm, empower, and cheer you on in light of the uniqueness of your story. She was passionate about capturing the significance of the moment. She was excited to pass on a congratulations or a job well done, but she did it in a way as if to say, “Keep going! There’s even more great things ahead if you keep going and growing!”
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
My mom wasn’t easily satisfied – she was wired for change. As you came in, you may have seen the photo board with the 2nd Timothy quote that says “I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” My mom would have taken the most pride in that she had fought the good fight until the end. There was always the next wrong to right, the next mountain to climb, the next person to exhort or persuade, the next challenge to conquer, the next opportunity to be maximized.
If she thought you were too easily satisfied, I think she often took it as a personal challenge. She would find a way to exhort and challenge you for the sake of maturity and greater integrity and impact. She was all in on the concept of iron sharpening iron and she wanted everyone around her to be as sharp as they could be. She didn’t speak into lives to condemn, but to elevate and inspire. She embraced that sharpening role because she wanted you…she wanted everyone…to experience more love, more truth, more connection, and more life on life impact. She was always after wholeness and had deep conviction that this is what we should do for each other if we truly care about one another.
The only time I cracked a smile the night she passed away was when the neurosurgeon who was there recognized her from a few weeks earlier as, “the woman from the ICU who was challenging him and giving him feedback.” He was as shocked as I was that her days of fighting the good fight were over.
I was shaped and formed in many ways in my person and vocationally because of my mom’s tenacity, passions, and strength. But as her son, my favorite side to her was simply as mother, not the leader or change agent. I had a different personality and sometimes could be overwhelmed by her intensity and passion for challenge. I admired her unique gifts and qualities, but as the years have gone on, the times I loved most were the times that felt most like friendship in its simplicity, presence, and rest.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
I love that she influenced me and so many with her hunger for wholeness and to see things made right. But more than that, I love that she is experiencing perfectly that wholeness she fought for throughout her entire life. And I love that in that wholeness in Christ, she is perfectly and completely satisfied.
