Performance and Beauty:
A Story from the Field

Thank you so much for praying this fall.  This has been a very active season and it’s been encouraging to get reports from campuses about students coming to faith or learning to have a ministry with their friends.  But sometimes “reports” from the field can lack a personal touch so we wanted this month to give you a little snapshot of one of our new staff’s “story” as it captures the types of things in students’ lives that influence their spiritual journeys in no small way.  Read the following from New York City native and Epic New Staff Mei Ling who offers an authentic picture of her journey and how Christ has transformed her.

a part of my story unfolding…

October 8th, 2010 by Mei Ling

Growing up the things that were provided in varying degrees were finances, food, shelter, schooling and spirituality.
However, the validation through emotions – never…
Never sought me out, asking “how was your day? How are you doing?” which led me to internalize the question “am I worth being heard? Do I as a person matter?” Instead of questioning the reason behind the lack of it from my environment…I assessed that in order to gain the worth/validation I desired, I would need to pursue it.

I was born with lazy eye, “beauty marks”, “dumbo” ears and an under-bite. And whatever my parents could change, they tried to. Not out of “ill-will” but with great intentions of hoping that I overcome my “born deficiencies”. As one parent states, “I have researched otoplasty extensively because I know this procedure is inevitable if my daughter is to not be ridiculed by her peers.” (http://www.plasticsurgery4u.com/pt_qna_folder/pt_qa_ear_pinback.html)

Many of my parents decisions were done in light of helping me have a “better life”. However I internalized the message that: ‘YOU’ (prior to having any control) don’t measure up. What isn’t your fault, now is, and yours to fix. So fix yourself to “earn” or “get” what you are born to desire…validity/approval.

Performance dominated my life because I needed to create something that would minimize the aspects of myself that aren’t “good”. I would put on this presentable self. For the lazy eye, I compensated by adjusting the way I sat and also whom I would speak to at the dinner table…ignoring those that sat on my left side because it would not appear as if I would be looking at them, even though I was. For my ears, I would never tie up my hair. For my under-bite, I’m careful not to show my full smile in pictures. So in order to compensate I increased socially…I taught myself to assess situations and learned how to be at least approved by the approved crowd. All so that I could validate that I’m “OK” and worth something. I yearned the approval that I wasn’t a mistake. I hadn’t clung to the promises/truths in Psalm 139:

To finish reading click here: http://blog.epicnyc.com/?p=265

Prayer Requests

Besides praying for the baby’s delivery (and that we can find a name in time!), here are a couple things we’d love prayer for:

• Morgan & Colin’s transition to having a third child. Morgan’s already expressed that she’s nervous about a baby getting all the attention.  Colin is an attention hawk and could really struggle at times.  We’re trying to help them through the process of such a big change in our family.
• I started a leadership development coaching group which I’ll share more about in the future, but it goes from Nov. to July.  I designed it on my own time as a hobby, but 13 ministry leaders including 9 ethnic minority staff (5 Asian Americans and 4 Latina women) have signed on and it’s become a great opportunity to invest in some great leaders across the country and provide some tools for them to navigate some of the more complex challenges they face.  It’s an unexpected opportunity, but one that has me really excited!
• You can pray for Christine as she has enjoyed some increased availability over the past year, but is preparing for 24 hour infant care again.

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