While both Christine and I help shepherd small groups of about 5-6 students each every week,  something that is not in our immediate job descriptions is the mentoring that we get a chance to do through the natural relationships we’re forming.  After Christine and I have been teaching Christian Marriage, both of us have found ourselves in many conversations with students who are wanting help and wisdom in their marriages.

There is immense hunger and teachability among the students here. It’s an encouragement to us that after being in class with us they aren’t tired of us, but want even more! Whether the topics are resolving conflict, communication, or sexual intimacy in marriage – it has been a blessing and privilege for each of us to minister in some of the ways God has provided.

Here Are Some Testimonies From Students in Our Marriage Class… 

“My childhood was a very bad and bitter one. I was physically and verbally abused by my parents. I was a very weak and angry. When my husband and I got married we did not know how Christian marriage was supposed to look like because we did not grow up Christian. On the 3^rd day of marriage I started to get very angry and resisted intimacy with him like we were enemies. We are now learning how to communicate to the heart of the issues and become closer to each other instead of treating each other like enemies.”
–India

 

“Sometimes I don’t understand why my wife cries due to her individual difficulties or our family’s difficulties because I think that these difficulties can be solved and are not difficulties. This hurts my wife. I don’t want to tell her my thoughts and I am accustomed to make decisions and handle things on my own. When I think about it now, I think that these thoughts are hindering forming intimacy with another. I think I need to naturally accept and express my emotions and listen to my family’s emotions rather than trying to solve their difficulties.”           –Korea

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“Our assignment talking as a couple led us to very big hurts that go back to the first weeks of our marriage.  I did not listen well to my wife when she shared her hurts early on in marriage, but I finally was able to listen and really respond in a way that she needed and apologize.  We finally were able to forgive each other for those hurtful experiences early on in our marriage. We both realized that this was the perfect time for us to resolve these conflicts, as we both tend to ignore conflict. We sincerely forgave each other. We are thankful to establish a new way of talking about conflict for the future.”       –India

 

“Whenever a situation or a problem must be discussed I realized I would not talk. I would avoid it or if I was really mad I would leave for a walk to not deal with the problems. Now I realize that instead of making the situation better, I’m really only trying to help myself and am adding many hurts to my wife in how I am dealing with conflict. This is helping us understand each other and have honest conversation so we can be closer and more intimate.”
–Philippines

     How amazing it is to see marriages in the ministry growing and transforming before your eyes! We believe a strong foundation in a Christ-centered marriage is crucial to couples who are seeking to have a lifetime of service for the Lord and we’re so thankful God has used us in the marriages of these couples. What a privilege for us to partner in God’s work to prepare workers for His harvest in these ways!

Together in Christ,
Brian & Christine

As we share with you this month, this week provided a sobering reminder of just some of what is at stake for some of those studying here at IGSL. This past week news was made that some Christian pastors have been arrested and persecuted in a strongly Buddhist country in South Asia. Turns out one of them is an alumni of IGSL so many here have been praying as we get updates.

Please pray the Lord sustains and protects them and sovereignly moves to open up the people of of this country to the gospel. It’s a reminder to many here that while IGSL is a bit of a refuge in the Philippines, many upon graduation return to their countries to minister in hostile situations. We’ve been praying for many students in this situation in the current graduating class (April 2014). Please pray for the many IGSL alumni serving where the church is heavily persecuted.

 
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Bringing the point further home about the cost of discipleship for some of these leaders is that I (Brian) have been mentoring a student from a Muslim country that if it was discovered he was studying at IGSL, he wouldn’t be allowed to return. We’ve connected in many ways and share a passion for history, but his journey of faith is a complex one as is his future returning to a country known for wars, terrorism, and militant Islam.  Please pray for these students and those returning home!

We’re 75% of the way through teaching Christian Marriage together here for the first year students – some of which include leaders and pastors married for longer than us!  It’s a challenge given culture and language issues at times, but it has been a great blessing to help lead these couples towards greater intimacy and closeness with one another and the Lord and equip them with more practical skills to navigate the challenges to their marriages in the context of ministry. Many of these couples come from places where the models of Christian marriage are few so the interactions we’re having are special and powerful.

But theme of coming closer has not just been for the ones IN our class.  It’s been the theme for Christine and I as well.  The journey we’ve been on in our decision process to return to IGSL for a second year or not has been full of internal character work, marriage work, and spiritual battle.  One of the things we love about our marriage is that we have learned to do “hard” well – meaning we’re so grateful for the foundation of communication, connection, and spiritual foundation we have to where we can stay connected and intimate even through life’s great storms.  While God is using us to pass some of that on, we have been called to draw even nearer to the Lord as a couple through an intense season of marriage and parenting and ministry and draw even nearer to one another.
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Before our marriage class I made a comment to Christine that I was afraid we weren’t going to have enough recent personal examples to draw from when we teach. Famous last words 🙂  We have had new experiences and illustrations almost daily!  But we have experienced God’s grace in new ways in our marriage through this experience.  Please keep praying as we finish this course together and continue to practice what we’re preaching in our own marriage!

     An unexpected opportunity came to us this past month when I (Brian) was asked to be one of plenary speakers at the 250 person all campus IGSL community retreat.  Initially I thought it might have been some kind of rookie hazing here.  And despite being overwhelmed with so much first time teaching I felt prompted to say yes to the opportunity because I felt the Lord grant me a clear message from the word to share in light of my experience here this year.

     I spoke from Hebrews 4 and other places in Scripture about the power of drawing near to the Lord through the sacrifice of Christ.  Many students come from backgrounds in which God is still quite distant to them or impersonal.  And many because of that also struggle to really bring their authentic selves to community.  I spoke to some of these issues and directed them to the freedom and power of God’s grace.

     While I always go through a significant self-critical phase after speaking, I was very encouraged to hear from so many staff, faculty, or students that the Lord really used that time to help them take steps to share with their small groups more of who they are move towards deeper and more authentic fellowship.  I also heard from many, especially from South Asia (India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka…) that the Lord used that time to really help them repent of sin and get right with the Lord or helped them to rethink their orientation towards their devotional lives and view of God.  It was very encouraging to see God use it, especially when I don’t see myself as a powerful or gifted speaker. Was grateful that God was at work the whole time.

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    One of my favorite moments though was spending time with the man below – someone captured a good photo of us talking the day after I spoke.  He and his wife are from Pakistan and teach at the Bible college level and also do some incredible ministry through radio that is reaching some of the most difficult places to reach in Pakistan.  He and his wife both shared with me and Christine how my session really blessed them and had them thinking about their marriage and relationship with their kids in a whole new way.

     These are the humbling moments – seeing God use you to equip, encourage, and sharpen men and women in the faith who are doing ministry that is 20 times more dangerous and risky than anything I’ve ever done.  But we rejoice in what God is doing – that we are contributing more than we could have imagined, but that we are learning and receiving twice as much as that from the Lord and from the community here.

Family Update

Thank you so much if you’ve been one of the many we’ve heard from that has prayed for us in this challenging season as we shared in our last update.  We’ve seen so many answers to prayer.  One big one is that the last couple weeks has been a real encouragement to Morgan. It lifted her spirits to hear from people back home (Thank you to all those commenting when she blogs!) and family and friends.
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Christine and her also took some steps to create more opportunities for her to bridge with other girls here at IGSL, including a fancy tea party which was a huge hit. The girls in the picture you see are from Pakistan, Malaysia, the Philippines, India, Vietnam, and a girl from Thailand was coming but got sick. Amazing! But the real prayer requests is that many of these girls started reaching out to Morgan even before the tea party – and some out of nowhere which has begun to help Morgan see the value of prayer.

It’s been challenging, but the last two weeks have taken Christine and I’s relationship with Morgan to new levels of connection and authenticity and it’s been pretty amazing to see her growing as a person right in front of us.  A few days ago she initiated a family check-in asking how everyone was feeling about the looming decision to stay or return home and shared where she was at. Tears may have been shed 🙂   We’re so proud of her and she’s impressed us so much the last couple of weeks. But continue to pray as there are still challenges for her and Christine as well.

Christine and I are teaching Christian Marriage here at the school. It’s our first time to teach Christian Marriage in such a formal venue and it’s been a good challenge and very developmental for us. But it’s amazing to dialogue every week with couples from arranged marriages and from all over the Philippines, Southeast Asia, and South Asia about Christ-centered marriage when there are many cultural and religious backgrounds represented like Hindu, Buddhist, and Muslim backgrounds.
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As my parents were here, it was a great opportunity to have them guest lecture last week and it was incredibly fun. So many students have come to us communicating how they were so blessed and it had them thinking about their marriage in ways they had never thought of. I talked to a couple from Sri Lanka that’s been in ministry and married over 25 years in the class and they shared it was so powerful it’s all they’ve talked about for the last two weeks and it’s taken them to a new place of oneness in their marriage! They brought Sri Lankan food to us the night before my parents left to show appreciation.  We all enjoyed that – especially Kaelyn who is our adventurous eater here!

Pray for Christine and I as we teach God’s heart and perspective on marriage for these students and that we model what we are teaching as we’ve been facing some very stressful realities and pressures in our own marriage and family life in this season!

     This picture captures one of our favorite experiences thus far. We were invited, along with my parents, to celebrate Lunar New Year with the Vietnamese community here at IGSL which has several CCC staff among them. I have had I think all of them in at least one of my classes so far so I’ve gotten to know them well. And my dad had read a book this fall titled “The Christians of Vietnam” which details the last century of the Vietnamese Church. I asked him to bring it so they could read it and they were so excited. 

It is found that males who are tadalafil sample suffering with any other disease then the dose needs to be altered. The appeal of online pharmacy is great to someone who is looking to buy erectile dysfunction medicine viagra without prescription free online, but consulting with doctor for proper usage is important. Fortunately, Kamagra tablets have it as their primary ingredient. generic india levitra It is the enzyme phosphodiesterase 5 that is responsible for get viagra in canada the person to be facing erectile dysfunction in his life.      But these students blessed us beyond measure. They don’t have much money but laid out such a feast because this is one of their great celebrations. We had traditional food and talked about these men and women’s journey as Christians and missionaries in their country. It was a humbling and powerful night for us and represents so much of what this school is about – equipping these incredible people to do ministry in places that God has called them to go (and that we could never go to). These are people that have suffered at times greatly for the cause of Christ.  It was humbling to be invited into their world for a night.

These are the moments that have defined our year – moments not in the job description and not part of any plan.  But moments birthed from relationship where new worlds are opened up and new blessings experienced.  We’re so grateful for these moments with the different families and communities here at IGSL this year!

     If you remember years ago when Christine and I worked with short-term international mission teams we would often fly to meet with teams half-way through their year to help them process their experience, work through conflict and culture stress, and make mid-course corrections. Fortunately for us my parents have plenty of experience doing that too! So we had a brief getaway last weekend to do some of this work to help us and our kids process the highs and lows of the experience and do an honest assessment of where we’re at.

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Thanks for your prayers!  The spiritual battle is great around what we are doing and especially around our decision making right now.  We would appreciate prayer for God’s provision for us in areas of need for different members of the family  and that God gives us wisdom on how to steward the next year.